Curiosity: The Most Underrated Leadership Move

Let’s be honest—curiosity doesn’t always get the credit it deserves in leadership circles. It sounds nice. Polite. Something you might file under “soft skills” or bring out in a team-building workshop.

But real curiosity? The kind that changes outcomes? That’s not soft. It’s strategic.

I was on a team call recently, feeling the pressure. Tired. Short on time. Someone said something that rubbed me the wrong way, and I felt myself loading up to react.

You know that moment, when your brain fills in the gaps, assumes intent, and goes straight into response mode.

But I caught it. Just in time.

Instead of snapping, I asked a question.

Not a clever one. Just a genuine one.

That simple act, choosing curiosity over certainty, completely shifted the tone of the conversation. What could’ve become defensive or messy became productive. And it reminded me of something I see again and again with clients:

The strongest leaders aren’t always the fastest to respond. They’re the ones who create just enough space to choose how they show up.

One client told me they blew up when a last-minute schedule change blindsided them. Totally understandable. But when we unpacked it, what really helped was this: pausing and asking “What’s really going on here?”, and letting that question guide their next move.

Curiosity didn’t make the problem go away but it stopped it from escalating.

This is where the work is. Not in controlling outcomes. But in noticing our triggers, staying open, and getting curious before we act.

The best leaders I know aren’t the loudest or the quickest. They’re the ones who give their attention freely. They listen. They ask questions. And they stay curious, not because it’s in a leadership book but because they genuinely want to understand what’s in front of them.

Curiosity is how we stop reacting and start leading.