What's the problem?

Over the years, I’ve worked with leaders who’ve done all the “right” things.

They turn up ready. They reflect deeply. They value feedback, develop emotional intelligence, and hold themselves to high standards.

They read the books, attend the courses, and try to live the values their organisations promote.

And still they hit a wall.

They feel stuck. Drained. Disconnected from their sense of purpose.

When growth mindset isn’t enough

One client put it perfectly:

“I’ve done all the growth mindset stuff… but I still feel like I’m fighting fog.”

The truth is, there’s only so far self-development can take you when the environment you’re leading in is fundamentally misaligned.

• You can be authentic but if the culture rewards politics, you’ll always feel off-balance.

• You can be resilient but if the workload never eases, it becomes endurance, not resilience.

• You can lead with purpose but if the direction keeps shifting, it’s hard to stay anchored.

Research in organisational psychology backs this up: burnout and disengagement are less about individual weakness and more about chronic workplace stressors such as workload, lack of control, and value conflicts (Maslach & Leiter, 2016). Leaders operating in systems that are misaligned with their values are at greater risk of exhaustion and detachment (Schaufeli, 2017).

It’s not failure — it’s a signal

We’re often told to look inward when things get hard. To dig deeper. Try harder. Push through.

But sometimes, the bravest step is to pause and ask:

Is it the system that needs to change?

This isn’t about blame. It’s an invitation to notice the gap between what’s being asked and what the system truly enables. Amy Edmondson’s work on psychological safety shows that leaders thrive when they can speak truthfully about these tensions without fear of repercussion (Edmondson, 2018).

What coaching can offer

This is where coaching comes in.

Not as another round of self-optimisation. Not as a performance enhancer.

But as a space to:

• Re-centre around your values

• Get honest about the terrain you’re operating in

• Explore the choices you do have within the system

Because leadership isn’t just about who you are. It’s also about how you navigate the context you’re in and whether the system supports or undermines your efforts.

A gentle question

If you’ve been quietly wondering, why isn’t this working?

Maybe the better question is:

What have you been taught to carry that’s no longer yours?

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A Practical Reflection Exercise

If you recognise any of this, here’s something simple you can try this week:

1. List the weight you’re carrying. Write down everything that feels heavy right now — tasks, expectations, worries.

2. Mark what’s truly yours. Put a tick by the ones that are within your control and align with your role and values.

3. Mark what isn’t. Circle the ones that belong to the system — culture, unrealistic demands, unclear direction.

4. Choose one shift. Ask yourself: If I stopped carrying just one of the circled items, what space might open up?

You don’t need to fix the system overnight. But even noticing the distinction between yours and theirs can create clarity, and clarity is often the first step to relief.

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References

• Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Burnout. Stress: Concepts, Cognition, Emotion, and Behavior. Academic Press.

• Schaufeli, W. B. (2017). Applying the Job Demands-Resources model: A ‘how to’ guide to measuring and tackling work engagement and burnout. Organizational Dynamics, 46(2), 120–132.

• Edmondson, A. C. (2018). The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. Wiley.